I Want To Ride My Bicycle

So it turns out that on Sunday my tyres were flat.  Not a wonder getting the bike to move felt like pushing a JCB straddled by Susan Boyle.
Time to give it another go!  With air in the tyres I fly along.  If I'd have kept peddling the way I was before I would have built thigh muscles like Lou Ferrigno.

 

With my new found confidence and ability to actually overtake the OAPs down by the shop I headed for the stream and did a short and familiar route.  It felt great, I know I could have done further if I wished but I proceeded with caution knowing that I will now enthusiastically jump on my bike in the not so distant future.

Today has been a real lift.  It has improved my mood and helped with my confidence.  Healthy body, healthy mind!

This Is A Low

The last couple of weeks have been a low.  Feeling rough and miserable, thoughts of any physical activity couldn't be further from my mind let alone my desires.  My anti-social barriers have gone up and a successful day is one that involves me leaving the house as little as possible and being able to engage in minimal conversation.  A visit to occupational health did little to lift my mood and just created resentment.  
However on Sunday I managed to lift myself from the slump to have a go on the bike. I know that this will ever give me a shot of confidence and satisfaction or depress me further.  If I struggle I will fall back into a dark hole and slip further down as if the sides are made from treacle.
I've always been able to cycle before.  Even after lengthy  breaks I've been able to do a few miles and feel good about it.  This is the part of the triathlon I'm most looking forward to.  I can do this.


So the bike comes out, I roll down the hill from home.  Then it happens, I inadvertently cycle into that black hole.  My legs are struggling to peddle, I feel like I'm towing a whale and the bike is trundling along minimally.  If I move any slower I will be going backwards. Stress and panic begins to set in, i can't do this, my bike is rubbish, the gears aren't working properly, am I really this unfit.  I reach for my phone, I've cycled less than half a mile . . . shit.  Go a bit further . . .shit.  Reluctantly my helmet comes off and I start a slow walk home with my head bowed in shame . . . shit.  I hop back on for one last surge, it lasts mere seconds.  Then the walk of shame continues.  To add to my disappointment I feel like I'm burning up and feel sick . . .shit.

That was it, my first effort on the bike.  I got home hopped in the shower and then it was the rest of day in bed feeling like crap.  

By the evening though another thought pops in to my head, "how soon can I next get on the bike."