Moving

You can’t compete with history.

And as I wish everyone a happy new year and see off the year 2017 with a tirade of expletives that is the sentiment that undlerlines my main feelings.

I don’t normally think much of New Year or it’s resolutions. The “new year, new me” crap grates me and I’ve always seen it as merely turning another page on the calendar. You got to bed and wake up the next morning (if you’re lucky) just like all the other days. However, this year for the first time I’m keen to use it as a fresh start. It’s going to be the beginning of my conscious effort to not let cancer to define my feelings and thoughtS. Celebrating how far I’ve come is rightly so a worthwhile exercise but it involves looking backward and dredging up unwanted memories and worries. It inadvertently leads to sobering memories and dark alleys. In 2018 rather than reflecting on what’s happened and how well I’ve done to beat cancer I’m aiming to look forward to where I’m going. My eyes are on what’s ahead and what I’m aiming for and where I want to be next rather than where I’ve been.