Tomorrow Never Knows

So today was my big trip to Liverpool for my next scan (via an overnight sat near Wigan). There was the element of fantasy that one small catastrophe in the Nuclear Medicine Department could have lead to me forming some forms of superpowers which is quite fitting as my mood the last few days has been something akin to the rages of the Incredible Hulk. I've not been anxious about scans or tests before and this trip was merely going for the actual scan with no probability of getting more updates on my condition and yet I am fully aware that I have been horrendous to live with for the first half of a long week.  I have been irrational and living on a permanently short fuse until I set out for the trip yesterday.  I can only put it down to it becoming a two day trip into the unknown at an unfamiliar location.  Familiarity does not breed contempt, familiarity breeds relaxation and a mind at ease.  Unfamiliarity breeds an anxious monster who unleashes his wrath on any unsuspecting soul!

At the back of my mind there is the acceptance that going through the process of tackling cancer a second time was going to be more challenging.  Yes, I've been through all the processes, tests, scans, drugs, conversations before but sometimes the first battle is easier whereas lifting yourself to repeat it all in Round 2 is a bit weary.  Being in limbo doesn't help either; no follow up appointments the scan have been arranged and the options I have are unclear apart from the ruling out of surgery.

In reality the PET scan was fairly simple.  Lot's of sitting and lying around.  After having the nuclear substance injected into me there was an hours wait before the scan.  Sitting in a quiet room alone with a book, cup of tea and bourbon biscuits (the best kind of biscuits) was relaxing.  Then once the scan began it was actually quite soothing.  Lying on my back moving in and out of the doughnut shaped scanner left me almost dozing off feeling almost like Homer Simpson in some Duff induced snooze dreaming of floating on iced doughnuts.

At with that it was all over and I was on my way.  Off I went into Liverpool searching for food with my beautiful ever present wife and before we knew it we were on with enjoying the remainder of the day before getting back to our lovely boys.

I'm home now, I'm not glowing and I failed to lift the car so it's back to 'normality'.  My mood is back to serene other than the unknown future as I await the next appointment or meeting with my specialist.  Onwards and upwards.